2009年8月31日星期一

又见飙车党






凌晨3点45分,外头街道传来十分熟悉的吵声。走到公寓的露台落地窗看看,一辆接一辆的电单车在无人的街道奔驰,引擎发出隆隆的吵杂声,扰人清梦。

接近两年没有看见这些玩命的飙车党在公寓外头的街道奔驰了。听公寓的保安员说是因为这些飙车徒嫌弃这里的街道太短,不符合他们飙车的口味。


记得刚搬进这座公寓时,每逢周五和周六,上百辆的电单车就会在午夜过后集聚在Tesco与E-gate前的街道,开始目无法纪的进行玩命游戏。这样的画面实在有点“壮观”。

刚开始目睹这样的画面时,心脏还会不受控制地加速跳动。也许是担心看到有人在这样亡命奔驰中不幸丧命。我更担心看到一些无辜的夜归人成了这些亡命之徒的牺牲品。我真的愚蠢到替这些没有脑袋的败类担心他们的生命的危险?后来,见怪不怪了,开始讨厌这样没有功德心的行径。这样的活动往往持续一、两小时,在警察巡逻车到来驱赶他们时才作鸟兽散。


真的想不通这些年轻人为什么在深夜里不要好好在家里睡觉休息,偏偏要出来街道胡作非为,不单扰人清梦,还威胁到夜归人的安全,甚至严重到进行抢劫勾当?


也想不通的是,为什么警察往往都是反应迟钝地让这些败类定时集聚,然后“允准”他们奔驰一段时间后才姗姗来迟地驱赶他们?

更想不通的是还有所谓的“英明领袖”出来为这些败类说好话,还动用国家资源来支持这些垃圾?

坦白说,如果我想得通,Mat Rempit就根本不是一个社会问题了。

有时我会告诉身边的朋友和学生:这个国家,病入膏肓了!

2009年8月28日星期五

关于野人



我脑海深处一直有个信念:野人(Bigfoot)的确是存在的。
说不出个缘由,就是相信。
说来奇怪,我一直相信,我们人类的近亲——野人,就稀稀落落地住在这个地球的某一些角落,在殷殷期盼我们这些文明人去把他们的身世揭开,以便完成我们人类进化图表中遗失好久的几块拼图。从我获知的信息里头我知道我国南部的柔佛州就有好几宗人们目睹野人出没的报导。可惜一直以来就是没有人能够透过相机把这些野人的身影给捕捉下来。

我能不能在我有生之年踏足野人出没的森林探寻野人的踪迹?
也许有人会笑我痴傻。但是,千万别忘记:世间好多伟大的发现和发明都是一些曾经被人们讥笑痴傻的人做出来的。
当然有人告诉我:周国球(Vincent Chow)和洪美发(Sean Ang)两人是骗子,是不诚实的“科学研究者”。有人指控他们为了急于出名,竟然盗用法国纪录片的野人剧照来愚弄世人。





我个人的看法却有点不同。我总是喜欢把事情往好的一面想。我认为周和洪两人不可能这么愚蠢地盗用电影剧照来毁坏自己的名誉。也许他们真的也是被他人愚弄了呢?据我所知,当周、洪两人把野人的照片公布在http://www.johorhominid.org/ 网站(已停止运作)时,他们的原意就是要确定那些照片的真伪啊!


那天,我把中华穿在身上


一直以来我和一群老同学都是以中华1985年毕业生(CH85)的身份参加大大小小的各项跑步比赛。上个星期天,我们却来了一个大改变,以中华校友会的名义报名参加钟灵校友会主办的第52届全槟华人越野赛跑。

以中华校友会的名义参加槟岛上的长跑比赛的目的不外是要让《中华》这两个字重新出现在人们眼前。作为国内历史十分悠久的华校,《中华》的确拥有很多辉煌及令人惦念的过去。随着时日的流逝,感觉上《中华》变得越来越平凡,甚至鲜有人认识,连校友会也是死气沉沉,没有生命力似的。
作为中华生,自己所能做的就是尽力把《中华》的名气及招牌擦亮。
在中华度过我的求学12年光阴,对《中华》这两个字是十分重视及眷恋的。毕业迄今有24年,今日有幸成为校友会的理事成员,该是自己尽力回报中华的时刻了。
为了这次的全槟华人越野,我自己掏腰包定做了50件白色的背心。背心的颜色配搭和设计出自我的心思,胸前一个特大的中华校徽,背后四个大字——中华校友。 可惜背心出炉时,我失望了。制作商忘记在背心前面左右两侧加上海蓝色框边,整件“战袍”略显单调了。
失望归失望,我始终实现自己的心愿:把《中华》穿在身上,奔驰在长途赛场上。那天,我们一共有9个校友第一次穿着这件单调的“战袍”和其它队伍竞技。我们绝对没有能力和他人决一高低,可是我们还是让《中华》的名字在人们的眼前出现了!
希望下一回的光华日报环市赛跑中会有更多校友把《中华》穿在身上,在槟岛的街道上和他人竞技比拼。
中华校友们,你们愿意加入我们的行列吗?
(欲看更多照片,请浏览www.chunghwa85.blogspot.com/ )

2009年8月22日星期六

又谈退休

上一回谈到退休,获得一些人的回应,有在帖子后留言的,也有隐蔽式地透过电邮或电话简信发表意见的。

最多人关注的有两个事项:(一)我怎么这么“年轻”就要退休了呢?(二)到柔佛森林找野人。

针对第一个事项,我应该做个澄清。其实,我所谓的“退休”并不是完全什么都不干,整天呆呆看日子一天过一天的那种。我想我引起大家的误会了。

我这个人根本不可能完全什么都不干,每天呆呆看时间溜过指缝间。

我想说的是:我所谓的退休,应该是从补习行业退下来,转换跑道,做一些其它的事情。并不是我厌倦补习这份工作。我只是觉得这么多年的日子以来,一直为了赚钱,许多重要的事,自己喜欢做的事始终没有去做,好像很对不起自己似的。

人应该有一个时刻不要再成为“钱”的奴隶。

我应该还会教书,但是应该不会像现在以赚钱为主要目的的了。我可以到一些慈善团体开办的义校去教免费的补习。我可以到孤儿院去教孩子读书。孤儿应该没有多余的钱到外面补习吧?

“退休”后,我应该会多花时间在这个部落格上。有发现最近我比较少上来这里涂涂写写了是吧?因为最近学生考试逼近,难免会感受到一些儿压力。感到时间的逼迫。如果“退休”了,就不需要有这样的感觉,应该是吧!

下一回一定会谈谈野人的事项。

2009年8月19日星期三

村上春树这汉子。。。

你读了我转载的《我永远站在鸡蛋那方——村上春树在耶路撒冷的演讲》吗?
明白我的用意吗?

不要以为我是在帮村上春树做宣传。他已经是个大名鼎鼎的小说家,已有3次被提名诺贝尔文学奖,无须我这无名小卒为他宣扬什么的。

也千万不要以为我把村上春树当作偶像,凡是有关他的文章论点都要拿出来与大家分享。

坦白说,我对日本没有什么好感。也许是日本在世界大战时的暴行太令我愤慨。不过,说也奇怪,对于日本人的拼斗精神我还是满佩服的。所以我挺支持日本国家足球队。我也佩服日本在科技及经济上所达到的成就。我还知道日本选手曾经一度是亚洲甚至是世界马拉松赛跑的佼佼者。当然,我也越来越喜欢阅读村上春树的作品,一切的机缘始于我发现村上春树是一个出色的长跑者。

言归正传。

我转载村上春树的这篇演讲稿的动机,不外是发自内心对一个文学家的一种敬佩。

一个文学家被某个国家颁予奖项,被邀上台发表演说时,虽然婉转地但也算公然地斥责该国攻打他国的恶行,这是一种勇气的表现。

以色列炮轰加萨,造成许多无辜老弱平民牺牲生命,引来世界各地的谴责。然而,要以个人的身份,踏足他人国土,公然在公开场合批评该国政府的劣行,村上春树的确是令人敬佩的,何况这是以色列为了表扬村上春树在文学上的贡献而特意举办的颁奖礼。在主人家为你举办的场合公然数落主人家的不是,这需要何其大的勇气?

得奖感言我们听多了,不外是一些客套的门面话。村上春树的这场演讲却是那么的特别,那么的有意义。想象一下如果我们本身人在现场,那种震撼会有多大?

2009年8月12日星期三

村上春树在耶路撒冷的演讲

我永远站在鸡蛋那方——村上春树在耶路撒冷的演讲
作者:村上春樹 整理:張翔一 提供:苏颖欣 

Today, I have no intention of lying .
今天,我不打算說謊

I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
今天我以一名小說家的身分來到耶路撒冷。而小說家,正是所謂的職業謊言製造者。

Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders.
當然,不只小說家會說謊。眾所周知,政治人物也會說謊。外交官、將軍、二手車業務員、屠夫和建築師亦不例外。

The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
但是小說家的謊言和其他人不同。沒有人會責怪小說家說謊不道德。相反地,小說家愈努力說謊,把謊言說得愈大愈好,大眾和評論家反而愈讚賞他。為什麼?

My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it.
我的答案是:藉由高超的謊言,也就是創作出幾可亂真的小說情節,小說家才能將真相帶到新的地方,也才能賦予它新的光輝。

In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form.
在大多數的情況下,我們幾乎無法掌握真相,也無法精準的描繪真相。因此,必須把真相從藏匿處挖掘出來,轉化到另一個虛構的時空,用虛構的形式來表達。

In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
但是在此之前,我們必須先清楚知道,真相就在我們心中的某處。這是小說家編造好謊言的必要條件。

Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
今天,我不打算說謊。我會盡可能地誠實。我在一年之中只有幾天不會說謊,今天剛好就是其中之一。

So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
請容我告訴你們真相。在日本,許多人建議我不要來這裡接受耶路撒冷文學獎。甚至有人警告我,如果我堅持前來,他們會聯合抵制我的小說。

The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
主要的原因,當然是迦薩正在發生的激烈戰鬥。根據聯合國調查,在被封鎖的迦薩城內,已經有超過千人喪生,許多人是手無寸鐵的平民、孩童和老人。

Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
我收到獲獎通知後,不斷問自己:此時到耶路撒冷接受文學獎,是否正確?這會不會讓人認為我支持衝突中的某一方,或認為我支持一個發動壓倒性武力攻擊的國家政策?老實說,我也不想看到自己的書被抵制。

Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that."
經過反覆思考,我還是決定來到這裡。原因之一是,太多人反對我來。我和許多小說家一樣,總是要做人們反對的事情。如果有人對我說,尤其是警告我說,「不要去」、「不要這麼做」,我通常反而會特別想去、特別想做。

It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
這就是小說家的天性。小說家是特別的族群,除非親眼所見,親手觸摸,否則他們不會相信任何事情。

And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
我來到這裡,我選擇親身面對而非置身事外;我選擇親眼目睹而非矇蔽雙眼;我選擇開口說話,而非沉默不語。

This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course. It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
但是這不代表我要發表任何政治訊息。判斷對錯,當然是小說家的重要責任,但如何傳遞判斷,每個作家有不同的選擇。我個人偏好用故事、尤其用超現實的故事來表達。因此,我今天不會在你們面前發表任何直接的政治訊息。

Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
不過,請容我在這裡向你們傳達一個非常私人的訊息。這是我創作時永遠牢記在心的話語。我從未將這句話真正行諸文字或貼在牆壁,而是刻劃在我心靈深處的牆上。這句話是這樣的:

"Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg." Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg.
「以卵擊石,在高大堅硬的牆和雞蛋之間,我永遠站在雞蛋那方。」 無論高牆是多麼正確,雞蛋是多麼地錯誤,我永遠站在雞蛋這邊。

Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
誰是誰非,自有他人、時間、歷史來定論。但若小說家無論何種原因,寫出站在高牆這方的作品,這作品豈有任何價值可言?

What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
這代表什麼意思呢?轟炸機、戰車、火箭和白磷彈就是那堵高牆;而被它們壓碎、燒焦和射殺的平民則是雞蛋。這是這個比喻的其中一層涵義。

This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell.
更深一層的看,我們每個人,也或多或少都是一枚雞蛋。我們都是獨一無二,裝在脆弱外殼中的靈魂。

This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
你我也或多或少,都必須面對一堵名為「體制」的高牆。體制照理應該保護我們,但有時它卻殘殺我們,或迫使我們冷酷、有效率、系統化地殘殺別人。

We made The System.
是我們創造了體制。

I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it.
我寫小說只有一個原因,就是給予每個靈魂尊嚴,讓它們得以沐浴在陽光之下。

The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them.
故事的目的在於提醒世人,在於檢視體制,避免它馴化我們的靈魂、剝奪靈魂的意義。

I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我深信小說家的職責就是透過創作故事,關於生死、愛情、讓人感動落淚、恐懼顫抖或開懷大笑的故事,讓人們意識到每個靈魂的獨一無二和不可取代。這就是我們為何日復一日,如此嚴肅編織小說的原因。

My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. 我九十歲的父親去年過世。他是位退休老師和兼職的和尚。當他在京都的研究所念書時,被強制徵召到中國打仗。

As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house.
身為戰後出生的小孩,我很好奇為何他每天早餐前,都在家中佛壇非常虔誠地祈禱。

One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war. He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike.
有一次我問他原因,他說他是在為所有死於戰爭的人們祈禱,無論是戰友或敵人。

Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
看著他跪在佛壇前的背影,我似乎感受到周遭環繞著死亡的陰影。

My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我父親過世了,帶走那些我永遠無法盡知的記憶。但環繞他周遭那些死亡的陰影卻留在我的記憶中。這是我從他身上繼承的少數東西之一,卻也是最重要的東西之一。

I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System.
今天,我只希望能向你們傳達一個訊息。我們都是人類,超越國籍、種族和宗教,我們都只是一枚面對體制高牆的脆弱雞蛋。

To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold.
無論怎麼看,我們都毫無勝算。牆實在是太高、太堅硬,也太過冷酷了。

If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
戰勝它的唯一可能,只來自於我們全心相信每個靈魂都是獨一無二的,只來自於我們全心相信靈魂彼此融合,所能產生的溫暖。

Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing.
請花些時間思考這點:我們每個人都擁有獨特而活生生的靈魂,體制卻沒有。

We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own.
我們不能允許體制剝削我們,我們不能允許體制自行其道。

The System did not make us: We made The System.
體制並未創造我們:是我們創造了體制。

That is all I have to say to you.
這就是我想對你們說的。

I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
我很感謝能夠獲得耶路撒冷文學獎。我很感謝世界各地有那麼多的讀者。我很高興有機會向各位發表演說。

2009年8月9日星期日

退休

前几天脑海中忽然涌现“退休”的念头。

我打算要几岁退休?法定年龄55岁,我今年42岁,距离这个岁数还有13年。应该是好好做打算的时候了。

我退休后的生活会是怎样的?

我是一个没有公积金养老的人,一切都靠长期以来所购买的保险储蓄金来作为退休后的保障。这点我应该不担心。况且我是一个生活清淡对物欲要求不高且不乱花钱的人。我担心的是退休后生活会不会忽然没有了重心?毕竟长期以来,每天重复着教书、教书、又是教书的生活,一旦退休了,没有教书的日子我会过得惯吗?毕竟我并没有讨厌现在教书的生活,甚至还可以用“满喜欢”来形容。每年年尾学生放假去了,我也停止补习班的工作时,会感到空虚。

常常看到一些上了年纪的“老人”退休后忽然变成痴呆、孤僻、厌世。然后病魔就立刻找上门来。然后每天就与药物纠缠。。。

我想我应该不会这样吧!

我有寄托——阅读、跑步、游泳、骑单车。我的剪报收藏里有着一份报导,关于退休老人如何利用运动来打发退休后的生活。我深深地被一个71岁的老铁人Yee Sze Mun 所吸引了!他48岁第一次参加半马拉松(21km)时因为脚底起水疱被迫半途而废,去年71岁时却进步地只用了15小时21分钟完成铁人3项。我41岁时就参加了Malakoff 26 km长途赛,也寄望明年参加生平第一次的全马拉松赛。我不寄望我成为铁人。我只要求能够参加大大小小的跑步赛会,而且终有一天能上台领奖。

这就是我,有野心。

其实,我心底还藏着一个秘密(现在公开了就不再是秘密)。我一直都相信世上有野人(Big Foot)的存在。在我读了李开璇著作的《柔佛野人真相》后,我坚信我国南部柔佛州的天然森林里真的住着所谓的“Big Foot”。 我挺佩服Sean Ang及Vincent Chow 在寻找野人以及努力揭开人类始祖秘密这方面所显示出来的精神。于是我有个念头:把体力锻炼好来,老年退休时踏入柔佛州的森林寻找野人去!

哈哈!疯狂?这只是个念头而已!